Dec 05 2008
Teenagers - - - the other species of the human race
Yeah, I know teenagers are actual human beings, stuck somewhere between being a kid and being a grownup. One of the hardest things about being an adult is that it is so hard to remember how we felt when we were teenagers. The hardest part of being a teenager is feeling like adults don’t have a clue what you’re going through. We all need a time machine - - so that we, as parents, can go back in time to not only the memories that we have of when we were teens, but also the feelings that we had during that time of: 1) knowing more than anyone else and not understanding why the world was so stupid; and 2) being so furious with our parents/grandparents because they were totally ridiculous to live with, determined to make our lives miserable.
In raising my teenagers, I feel like somewhere in that adult-sized body is the little child I used to let sit between me and the arm rest of my car (way back before seat belts/car seats were required). That little child would ride everywhere with me, and during that small innocent age, he thought that I hung the moon.
Now the same child seems to think I’m from the moon or some other planet that just doesn’t understand life these days. Do you ever wonder how hard it must have been on our own parents/grandparents when we treated them like they were aliens also? I don’t know about you, but it gives me a sense of shame now to know what I put those dear people through. Although, as the circle of life comes back around, I now am closer to my parents and grandparents than I have ever been before simply because of the new era that I’ve entered with my own children. I have an immense sadness for the older generation that aren’t alive anymore to realize that, yes, I really did grow up and finally realized how much I honestly didn’t know, but I’m sure they knew I would.
If I could have just one wish for my children, I would ask that they be given the wisdom to see that everyone, including me, was just like them at one time. I’m not an alien, nor am I their enemy. I’m just someone who loves them with all my heart and wants the absolute best for them, with only minimal sadness and tears, just enough to feed their spirit and help them mature. Basically, my wish would be for them to be able to look into my heart and see that the little boy that used to sit on my hip between me and the arm rest is still that same size in my mind, with those same big eyes looking up needing reassurance and love that only I could provide . . . and always will be, even at 6′2.
You are so right. My son is 17 now. We used to be so close, but now he knows everything and I’m stupid so it’s hard for both of us. Damn.
We can only keep the faith that we know we once were close, and we know it will come back around . . . hopefully our kids won’t take as long as I did to realize my parents were always and still are, my world. Have you ever noticed that the very things in our children that unnerve us the most are those same things that we see in ourselves? Uncanny.